Teacher :What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.

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Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser:Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

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Teacher :Because of Gandhiji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday

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Teacher:”Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?”
Johnny:”Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.”

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Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)

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Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

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Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, ‘God, are you still in there?’

No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.

When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.

Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.

Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.

School lunches stick to the wall.

You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma’s lap.

A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, “Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet.” He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, “Don’t kid me, Mom, I KNOW they’re my feet.”

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What are you doing?” his mother asked. “The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken,” the boy explained. “So I’m looking for the seal.”

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

A four year old girl was learning to say the Lord’s Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother. She said, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail.”

When Suzy got home, she told her dad that she got a 100 in school. Her dad told her to sit down and tell him all about it. She said, “Well, I got a 20 in math, a 30 in science, and a 50 in spelling! Two kids were trying to figure out what game to play. One said, “Let’s play doctor.” “Good idea.” said the other. “You operate, and I’ll sue.” I guess you can get too health conscious. My wife and I don’t have a lot of “junk food” in the house. Upon eating a snack of some munchies or other my Grandson asked what vitamins they had in them. I told him I doubted there were any at all. He replied wide-eyed, “You mean these are just for fun ?” A kindergarten teacher asked, “What is the shape of the earth ?” One lil’ girl spoke up: “According to my Daddy — terrible!” Trying to come to the aid of his Father, who was stopped by an officer for speeding, the lil’ tyke piped up, “Yeah? Well, if we were speeding, so were you !”

A girl was throwing stones at a cow. Her father came & scolded her for throwing the stones at the cow & then told to her that cows are like mothers to them & should be respected. Next day guests come to their to their house & asked for her father. She said “Father is pressing breast of mother”.

Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out.

“If I gave you $200,” the teacher began,” and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would you have?”

“An orgy,” Johnny answered.

A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, is God a man or a woman?”

“Both son. God is both.”

After a while the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?”

“Both son, both.”

The child returns a few minutes later and says, “Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?”

Little Johnny returns from school and tells his father he got an “F” in Arithmetic today.

“Why?” asks his father.

“The teacher asked, ‘How much is 2 x 3?’ I said “6″.

“But that’s right,” said his father.

“Then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’

“What’s the fucking difference?” asks his father.

“That’s what I said!”

A six-year-old comes crying to his mother because his little sister pulled his
hair. “Don’t be angry at your sister,” the mother says. “She doesn’t realize
that pulling hair hurts.”

A short while later, there’s more crying, and the mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling, and her brother says, “Now she knows.”

Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. They had to use an
outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer,cold in
the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting
on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that
outhouse into the creek.

One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided
today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick
and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated
away.

That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper.
Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad
replied,”Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you,
wasn’t it, son?” The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said,
“Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree
and didn’t get into trouble because he told the truth.”

The dad replied, “Well, son, George Washington’s father wasn’t in that cherry
tree.”