A little boy came down to breakfast, since they live on a farm, his mother asked him if he had done his chores. “Not yet’ says the little boy.

Just then his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the puss half way across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile and says, “Are you going to tell him, or should I?”

During one “generation gap” quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, “I
want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I’ll never find it here
at home, so I’m leaving. Don’t try and stop me!”
With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close
behind.
“Didn’t you hear what I said? I don’t want you to try and stop me.”
“Who’s trying to stop you?” replied his father. “If you wait a minute, I’ll go
with you.”

Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet…
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.. ..

A man goes into a cinema with his dog to watch a film. It’s a romantic comedy and when there’s a funny seen the dog starts laughing. A little later on there’s a sad part and suddenly the dog starts crying.

This goes on throughout the entire film, laughing and crying at all the right places. A man sitting a few rows back has witnessed the entire thing and decides to follow the man out.
In the foyer, he approaches the dog owner and says, “That’s truly amazing!”

“It certainly is” The dog owner replied, “He hated the book!”

A man calls his mother in Florida. “Mom, how are you?”
“Not too good,” says the mother. “I’ve been very weak.”
The son says, “Why are you so weak?”
She says, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.”
The man says, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?”
The mother answers, “Because I didn’t want my mouth to be full of food if you
should call.” 

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the
kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white
hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, “Why are some of your hairs
white, mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me
cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then said,
“Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

After the wedding:
- You know, honey, I can’t give up my maiden habits at once.
- It is not necessary! You may continue to take your father’s money.

A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes. The
salesman says, “But, sir, I can see from up here you’re at least a size 11.”
The guy says, “Just bring me a size 8 tie shoe.”
The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight,
and then he stands up, obviously in pain. The salesman just has to ask, “Sir,
why must you have these undersized shoes?”
He says to the salesman, “I lost my business and my house, I live with my
mother-in-law, my wife is screwing my best friend, my daughter is pregnant, and
my son is gay. The only pleasure I have in life is taking off these damn shoes.”

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!”He then taped it to his office door.Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: “Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”

nasa is sending sardar to the moon…………………….while going in rocket in the middle he jumped out…………………….and shouting that “Nasa cheated me…………………………………………………………………….today is Amayavasya there will be no moon,im not a stupid”……,